We decided to take advantage of the beautiful fall weather. We made a trip down to wheeler farm on Sunday afternoon. It was actually hot outside! They were having the farmers market. It was so much fun. They had a cow train and a pumpkin hunt. The kids loved seeing all the animals to. What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon

Mean Old Witch

Happy Halloween!!

By my side

This is my new favorite picture in my house. The other night I was praying to Heavenly Father for strength and confidence in my anxiety. I was having a rough night. I also prayed that Izaac would have comfort, that he might get some healing sleep. He had been sick. As I finished up I heard Izaac coughing and whining. I went to his door and peeked in. He was OK. I watched for a moment. As I stood there I noticed the picture of Christ by me. It reminded me that he was there holding my hand supporting us. He was there next to me. Now every time I stand in that hallway next to that picture anxiously gazing at my children I know he is next to me. Standing by my side.

Stand Up

The weather is changing and so am I. I have seasonal depression and winter can be a huge struggle. I cling to the happiness the holidays bring but soon after new years I find it hard to be happy.

This week has been really hard on me. I have been really dwelling on my children and how everything in the past year and a half has affected them. I can’t help but blame myself. When I see how they are affected by the fact that they don’t see dad every day or the fact that they really don’t have consistence in their life I break down. All I can think is I did this to them. It is my fault. Then I tend to over compensate for that. I protect them from things that aren’t even happening. This probably makes it worse.

I have some thing about me that I hate. Things that, yes, contributed to the ending of my marriage. I am changing, but I have seemed to hit a plateau. I want to change I want to be different but some how I still find myself doing those things. You would think that wanting it would be enough. I was so frustrated. Almost ready to give up. Almost willing to except that I am who I am and that will never change and I will never be able to have an honest good relationship

Tonight as I sat wide awake, wishing I could sleep I had some inspiration. I can’t change my past. What’s done is done and I did it to myself. I now just have to live with it. I can however change my future. I ripped my kid’s life apart once. I took them away from everything they knew. Everything that was comfort. They are just starting to get that back and I am not about to do that again.

Tonight I stand up for my self. Tonight I stand up for my kids. Tonight I stand up for the one I love. I am who I want to be. With the help of God and my new wonderful little family I can be who I want to be.

Twinkle Twinkle

Summer 2011

This summer has been wonderful! June was full of celebration for Izaac's 4th birthday. It was a blast!



We rented a huge jump and bounce house.
He litterally played on it all day. We had it from 9 am to 5 pm and the only time he came off was to eat and open presents. He had a blast and looked forward to it for weeks. I can't believe my baby is 4! His is getting so big. He is so funny. He loves to tease and joke, but has a very sensitive side. He randomly tells us he loves us all the time. His family of animals has grown to Mickey and Coconuts. He really is the sweetes boy I know!



July was full of carnivals,fire works, and keeping cool. we did Taylorsville days and Riverton days. The night that Taylorsville set off the fireworks Me and Izaac went over to Bennion Jounior High and watched them. It was perrfect. Not so loud and we didn't get stuck in all the traffic. He thought they were magical. It was a great mommy son date!

The end of July we went to willard bay for my birthday. To see the blog from that weekend click here.

August was preety chill EXECPT our AWESOME VACATION!! At the end of august we went to my favorite place! History: My parents owned a time share when I was a kid. Since I could remember we went there every summer. We would stay at this awesome hotel. Our room was a mini apartment with two bedrooms three batrooms a kitchen and a living room. It had an indoor pool too. I have so many good memories there. It was a second home to me! My parents sold the time share after I graduated High school. I was devistated. Every year since then we have gone up to the park city resort for a day and did the alpine slide. It has been so fun! WELL this year my mom rented three Condos. One for my family one for Michelle's and One for her and dad. It was amazing. Since I was little I dreamed of taking my kids there and sharing this adventure I had growing up. The kids LOVED it. They were so excited they had their own room in the hotel away from me. We got all day passes at park city resort and did the alpine slide, zip line, alpine coaster, tramps, mini golf, kiddie rides... so much. Izaac went down the slide once but was having two much fun on the huge inflatible slide to go again. We "snuck" Kyrie on the alpine slide. Your are suppose to be 2yrs old to ride.. she is two months away. So yes that day she was two! I floored it the whole way down and she screamed WEEEEEE!! and laughed and laughed. It was awesome. We spent the rest of the time relaxing and swimming. It was a dream come true!

September 11th

Well I wanted to do this sooner but life got away.

Saturday September 10 my family went out to sandy city to see the flags. They were amazing. They put up a flag for every victim. On the flag was a tag that talked about who that flag was dedicated to. Sunday morning we got up with not much thought, and went to church. Right at the start of sacrament our bishopric got up and read a letter from Taylorsville city. They wanted the city to observe a moment of silence at 11 am and that a fire truck would be driving around with it’s siren on in observance of September 11th. AT 11 we opened the door in the sacrement room and all sat in silence. Unfortunately we never heard the sirens but it was a beautiful moment. I have never heard the sacrament room so silent. All the kids were quiet as if they knew how important it was.



September 11, 2001

I was getting ready for school. I was a junior in High school. Every morning I listened to 97.1’s morning show. I remember hearing about some accident in NY. I didn’t care much and went about my morning. When I got to school. Every TV was on. I walked in to my first class and everyone was watching some where crying. I was scared. That day we went from class to class and watched the reports. The teacher talked to us. Helped us understand what was happening. I knew our lives would be different from that day on.

The older I get the more I learn and appreciate. Sunday morning as I sat in silence all I could think was how unfair that I am sitting here today. How unfair that so many innocent people died. I remembered how badly I wanted to help in 2001. I felt helpless and still do.

One of my good friends posted this in her blog. It is a wonderful short film about a gentleman’s experience that day and how it affected his life.