October

October was a blast. We had Haloween events all over the place.

My mommies group does a annual trunk or treat. It was so fun this year! The weather was perfect. They had it at a local park. We played games and socialized then the kids got to go trunk or treating. They loved it.


Izaac's school had a costume parade then a class party. They made a witched brew during the assembly and each class got to take a culdrin to have with their treats in class. It was homemade rootbeer. In class they sang songs and played haloween games.



We had some haloween projects to! I bought some Foamy stickers and let the kids go crazy decorating some paper.

Then of course we had our annua pumpkin carving party. Izaac really wanted to help this year. It was great!

The kids went Trick or Treating with dad this year so I sat home and passed out candy for the first time ever! It was fun! The kids looked great in their costumes!

Kyrie's 2nd Birthday

It was a blast! Chris had her for the frist half of the day. Then that night we had a few family and friends over for presents and cake and ice cream at our house. She had a puppy party. My mom made the cutest puppy cake and balloons. She loved them!

I can't believe she is two! Time went so fast. She is the sweetest girly girl ever. She loves her bows and jewlery. She rocks and feeds her baby and puppies too! I love her so much!!! Happy Birtday My KyriePierie!

Salt Lake City Mommies

I have recently become part of the management team on my mommies group. I LOVE it. I am the hospitality manager and man does it keep me busy. Some of my duties include organizing a new member play date every month, helping the new members navigate the fourms, recognizing birthdays, and welcoming new members! It is so fun. There is tons more to do now. The women I have meet through this group are utterly amazing. It has been a great support to me. I decided I wanted to give back and be part of this wonderful community of women, so when the old manager stepped down (and nominated me) I gladly accepted the position.

So that is my excuse as to why I am so behind on my blog. I promise that I will get picture up from Halloween and Kyrie's Birthday soon. In the mean time come check out my mommies group it is the BEST!

http://www.saltlakecitymommies.com/

We decided to take advantage of the beautiful fall weather. We made a trip down to wheeler farm on Sunday afternoon. It was actually hot outside! They were having the farmers market. It was so much fun. They had a cow train and a pumpkin hunt. The kids loved seeing all the animals to. What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon

Mean Old Witch

Happy Halloween!!

By my side

This is my new favorite picture in my house. The other night I was praying to Heavenly Father for strength and confidence in my anxiety. I was having a rough night. I also prayed that Izaac would have comfort, that he might get some healing sleep. He had been sick. As I finished up I heard Izaac coughing and whining. I went to his door and peeked in. He was OK. I watched for a moment. As I stood there I noticed the picture of Christ by me. It reminded me that he was there holding my hand supporting us. He was there next to me. Now every time I stand in that hallway next to that picture anxiously gazing at my children I know he is next to me. Standing by my side.

Stand Up

The weather is changing and so am I. I have seasonal depression and winter can be a huge struggle. I cling to the happiness the holidays bring but soon after new years I find it hard to be happy.

This week has been really hard on me. I have been really dwelling on my children and how everything in the past year and a half has affected them. I can’t help but blame myself. When I see how they are affected by the fact that they don’t see dad every day or the fact that they really don’t have consistence in their life I break down. All I can think is I did this to them. It is my fault. Then I tend to over compensate for that. I protect them from things that aren’t even happening. This probably makes it worse.

I have some thing about me that I hate. Things that, yes, contributed to the ending of my marriage. I am changing, but I have seemed to hit a plateau. I want to change I want to be different but some how I still find myself doing those things. You would think that wanting it would be enough. I was so frustrated. Almost ready to give up. Almost willing to except that I am who I am and that will never change and I will never be able to have an honest good relationship

Tonight as I sat wide awake, wishing I could sleep I had some inspiration. I can’t change my past. What’s done is done and I did it to myself. I now just have to live with it. I can however change my future. I ripped my kid’s life apart once. I took them away from everything they knew. Everything that was comfort. They are just starting to get that back and I am not about to do that again.

Tonight I stand up for my self. Tonight I stand up for my kids. Tonight I stand up for the one I love. I am who I want to be. With the help of God and my new wonderful little family I can be who I want to be.

Twinkle Twinkle

Summer 2011

This summer has been wonderful! June was full of celebration for Izaac's 4th birthday. It was a blast!



We rented a huge jump and bounce house.
He litterally played on it all day. We had it from 9 am to 5 pm and the only time he came off was to eat and open presents. He had a blast and looked forward to it for weeks. I can't believe my baby is 4! His is getting so big. He is so funny. He loves to tease and joke, but has a very sensitive side. He randomly tells us he loves us all the time. His family of animals has grown to Mickey and Coconuts. He really is the sweetes boy I know!



July was full of carnivals,fire works, and keeping cool. we did Taylorsville days and Riverton days. The night that Taylorsville set off the fireworks Me and Izaac went over to Bennion Jounior High and watched them. It was perrfect. Not so loud and we didn't get stuck in all the traffic. He thought they were magical. It was a great mommy son date!

The end of July we went to willard bay for my birthday. To see the blog from that weekend click here.

August was preety chill EXECPT our AWESOME VACATION!! At the end of august we went to my favorite place! History: My parents owned a time share when I was a kid. Since I could remember we went there every summer. We would stay at this awesome hotel. Our room was a mini apartment with two bedrooms three batrooms a kitchen and a living room. It had an indoor pool too. I have so many good memories there. It was a second home to me! My parents sold the time share after I graduated High school. I was devistated. Every year since then we have gone up to the park city resort for a day and did the alpine slide. It has been so fun! WELL this year my mom rented three Condos. One for my family one for Michelle's and One for her and dad. It was amazing. Since I was little I dreamed of taking my kids there and sharing this adventure I had growing up. The kids LOVED it. They were so excited they had their own room in the hotel away from me. We got all day passes at park city resort and did the alpine slide, zip line, alpine coaster, tramps, mini golf, kiddie rides... so much. Izaac went down the slide once but was having two much fun on the huge inflatible slide to go again. We "snuck" Kyrie on the alpine slide. Your are suppose to be 2yrs old to ride.. she is two months away. So yes that day she was two! I floored it the whole way down and she screamed WEEEEEE!! and laughed and laughed. It was awesome. We spent the rest of the time relaxing and swimming. It was a dream come true!

September 11th

Well I wanted to do this sooner but life got away.

Saturday September 10 my family went out to sandy city to see the flags. They were amazing. They put up a flag for every victim. On the flag was a tag that talked about who that flag was dedicated to. Sunday morning we got up with not much thought, and went to church. Right at the start of sacrament our bishopric got up and read a letter from Taylorsville city. They wanted the city to observe a moment of silence at 11 am and that a fire truck would be driving around with it’s siren on in observance of September 11th. AT 11 we opened the door in the sacrement room and all sat in silence. Unfortunately we never heard the sirens but it was a beautiful moment. I have never heard the sacrament room so silent. All the kids were quiet as if they knew how important it was.



September 11, 2001

I was getting ready for school. I was a junior in High school. Every morning I listened to 97.1’s morning show. I remember hearing about some accident in NY. I didn’t care much and went about my morning. When I got to school. Every TV was on. I walked in to my first class and everyone was watching some where crying. I was scared. That day we went from class to class and watched the reports. The teacher talked to us. Helped us understand what was happening. I knew our lives would be different from that day on.

The older I get the more I learn and appreciate. Sunday morning as I sat in silence all I could think was how unfair that I am sitting here today. How unfair that so many innocent people died. I remembered how badly I wanted to help in 2001. I felt helpless and still do.

One of my good friends posted this in her blog. It is a wonderful short film about a gentleman’s experience that day and how it affected his life.

Today music is speaking to me. Cold play, Fix you. I love the lyrics.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

When I heard this song all I could think was, that was me last night. I was so tired. I couldn't sleep. I felt like I was in reverse, and I cried and cried.

Chris's life still effects me emotionally. It shouldn't..

Watching another women move into my house. The house I still owned. Taking over my kitchen my room...

Walking through that now empty house Remembering all the memories. Watching my life with chris from beging to end. Remebering the good and the bad…

I reflect on a post from Febuary. You can read it here.

I am over the fact that another women is in his life. I know I will never be that women. I don't want to be that women. It is the fact that he was my bestfriend for 8 year. He was there every day. We shared so many intamate things. Now I have to sit back and watch him share those experiences with someone else. One of those experiences happened yesterday. It was way harder for me than I thought it would be.

I know that sooner than later I will get to experience all this and more with james. It's just late at night, when he is asleep, when my kids are gone, I have nothing but myself. All alone, I tend to let my mind wonder.

Details in the Fabric Lyrics

Oh how the emotions flow. Will they ever stop. Surprises around every corner. Dark villians reminding me of the past. Not letting me forget. Reminding me of the person I was. The peson that was so shellfish the person that still is.

Willard Bay 2011

This weekend was amazing!! Friday Me and James took off to Brigham city with the kids Earlier than every one else. We spent some time with one of my best friends Randi, swimming at the hotel pool and then went out to dinner in Brigham city with her and her kids. Saturday the boys woke up early to reserve a spot at the beach and launch the wave runners. My mom and me had a relaxing morning getting he kids feed and ready and headed over around 10. It was perfect. Izaac loved the lake this year. He was swimming, playing in the sand and even rode the wave runner. Kyrie liked it but wasn't too sure about the cold water. She loved to float around in the car boat. Of course she was very interested in the food we had there. All she wanted to do was eat! Sunday we went to church with the Tanners and relaxed and played and ate dinner with them. We headed home sunday night.

The kids did really well with the hotel and loved the adventures there. It really was the best lake trip ever. I was so happy to have the love of my life with me. A beautiful change of pace from last year.

well just wanted to check in. Things have been well for us. We are preparing for a trip to Willard Bay this weekend! I am so excited. It is for my birthday and I can't wait to get out on te water and just forget about the world. I can't wait to see how kyrie reacts to the lake. Last year she was so little she didn't really know what was going on. Izaac has never liked the lake. He hates all the sand. I am curious how he will react this year. It seems this summer he has been interested in things he hated last year. Like the fireworks, he LOVED them this year. Last year he HATED them. Funny. I hope that his new attitude carries over to the lake.

Kyrie

Kyrie is 20 months old. She is all girl! She loves dresses and jewelry. She always has to have a necklace or a bracelet on. She is a drama queen approaching her terrible twos! Every thing results in a dramatic tantrum theses days.She covers her face and cries. then carefully, yes carefully throws her self on the floor.

She has the silliest personalities. She teases everyone especially her brother. Then she laughs and laughs. Her start in this world was rough but she conquered and showed us just how strong she is! If you want to read her birth story click here and her adventures after go here

She is such a determined and strong little girl. She knows what she wants and goes after it. She hates to take no for an answer and I hope that is a quality that stays as an adult. She is the only granddaughter on my side of the family so she is a spoiled princess! I love you my princess pie!

Izaac

This picture is about a year old. It was taken in June of 2010. I like it because it shows his innocent and sweet side. The animals he has in his hands are his best friends. One, he calls tigger. He has had that one since he was about 3 months old. The other is Tiggy. We gave that one to him for his first birthday hoping to replace Tigger as he was getting worn out. Unfortunately he clung to both. He loves these animals and they have helped him through so much.

Here are some pictures of his Tigger and Tiggy and one of him holding them from this year. They are well loved!

Izaac turned 4 this year. How times flies. He is one of the funniest kids I know. It seems every minute he has me laughing. He is slowly coming out of his shell. He was painfully shy this time last year. He wouldn't talk to anyone. He attended preschool this past fall/winter at challenger. They worked with him and worked with him. He made strides in the right direction socially while in school.

He is a typical 4 year old boy. He loves train, cars, and baseball. He is slowly learning to use his imagination. I catch him playing with his toys and making them talk to each other. It is so cute!

He is one of the lights in my life right now. His unconditional love has pulled me through so much! Love you Izaac Piesic!!

Me

I am Nikki. Young mother of two beautiful children. I am on the path to being a divorcee.

Divorce is hard, messy, painful, exasperating, and difficult. It has been 16months since this journey began and I don’t see the end in sight anywhere. I am currently living and breathing however.

I have recently moved to a beautiful home with my amazing Boyfriend. There we live, laugh, love and raise my two kids together. I would be lying if I told you my life with him was perfect. I believe that is impossible. Every relationship has its seasons. I am safe to say that we spend the majority of our relationship in summer, which is the best one to be in!

I never thought I could love or trust again. I never thought I would find someone more perfect for me than my ex. Boy was I wrong! He is one of the most amazing people I know. He is willing to do anything for me, my kids, and really anyone he loves. We have a lot of personality traits in common which can be problematic but for the most part I learn a ton from it.

My Ex and I are still close friends. I get along well enough with his Girl friend too. We feel it is super important that we remain friends for the kids. We may not be able to survive as a married couple but we are good friends and always have been.

Sometimes I get worried and self conscious about my kids having another mother figure in their lives. I have to remind myself that as long as I love them, support them, do what is right and live my faith all will be fine.

Every day is an adventure! I often wonder how I ended up were I am. How did my life get so scrambled? Then I remember that sometimes you have to give up the life you planned to live the life you were meant to live.